Now Corky,How does you're girl feel about this?
Its a bit embarrasing, but I have chronic flatulence.
I'm constantly breaking wind, and while I can usually let loose silently, I often inadvertantly blow off without warning.
I've recently met a really nice girl, and am due to meet her parents next Saturday, can you recommend anything?
PS I've tried a cork, but after a few hours the pressure finally blows it free, in the last instance causing severe psychological damage to my parrot, who spent a considerable amount of time unsuccesfully trying to imitate the noise.
Does she mind your gassy bottomfoolery?
Or have haven't you yet introduced her to your flatulence? May I (with aunties endorsement) recommend the dutch oven for this, as in stuffing her head under the bed clothes and let rip.
If she enjoys this, and is maybe a wee bit aroused - then this could pave the way forward for other types of bumfum such as rimming and dirty sanchez.
But beware, girlfarts are at least 300% more unbearable.
Personally I think you should blow off directly at your knew in laws - giving yourself marks out of 10 for odour, longevity and substance - they'd at least respect you for your honesty.....
And if you really want to make a good impression, then sneak into their laundry basket and steel a pair of her mothers dirty panties - if she gets all high almighty about your flatulence, then you can produce evidence of hers by way of her filthy skid marks.
Thought I'd help auntie
Its all very well trying to help Aunty, but without the correct training you could cause young Rob severe psychological damage.
Not to mention the possibility of arrest (Mother-In-Law Act 1949, section 2b; used smalls and underwear, pilfery and misuse) encounters with the law, and a community sentance.
Do be more careful.