27 replies to this topic

[gazmungus]

Haven't got a hope in hell this time, just using it as a practise run for the retake....


I hate guitar. It's gay and stupid. I'd rather just get drunk and lay decaying and flatulent on the couch watching x factor or corrie or whatever like my council house upbringing would dictate...

I have nothing to blame but my own stupidity. Now back to practise.

Bollocks.

[Newbie Brad]

Fight fiercely, impress them with your prowess, do.

[jahloon]

Haven't got a hope in hell this time

Didn't you say that last time, and pass?

Just remember Granny's damp knickers, if you need a crotch, sorry crutch.

[rob]

Haven't got a hope in hell this time

Didn't you say that last time, and pass?

Just remember Granny's damp knickers, if you need a crotch, sorry crutch.

I remember him saying something like that last time too. I think it came down to him trying to find two excuses to get drunk.

Seriously, very seriously, Gaz you are more than talented and skilled enough to do this. You just need to find your zone and relax.

[gazmungus]

Thankyou fellas for your support....

I have however, this time, bitten off more than I can chew...

Last year, I didn't really work at it so hard (too busy sodding about with fretless festivals, funerals and procrastination) and I barely scraped through by the skin of my sphincter...

This year I've shat my testicles off trying and I've only manage to learn 3 out of the 7 pieces - I doubt I can charm the examiner with my smut

Any more pearls of wisdom very greatly appreciated

Just remember Granny's damp knickers, if you need a crotch, sorry crutch.

Do they come with a nice chewy yeasty discharge?

[Newbie Brad]

Hang a "busy" sign on your forehead and stay practicing until the event passes.

[jahloon]

Just remember Granny's damp knickers, if you need a crotch, sorry crutch.

Do they come with a nice chewy yeasty discharge?

Guest Granny Rustiegirdle sent a message: "You know far too much about these unmentionables for your own good. A pair of my bloomers are in the post, wear them on your head and you will go far."

[gazmungus]

Just remember Granny's damp knickers, if you need a crotch, sorry crutch.

Do they come with a nice chewy yeasty discharge?

Guest Granny Rustiegirdle sent a message: "You know far too much about these unmentionables for your own good. A pair of my bloomers are in the post, wear them on your head and you will go far."

You mean she couldn't post that reply herself?

Do I wear then back to front or nose to gusset?

[jahloon]

You mean she couldn't post that reply herself?

Do I wear then back to front or nose to gusset?

Guest *Granny Rustgirdle* replies... "Oh Young Maannn!, nose to gusset, gusset to nose"

[gazmungus]

You mean she couldn't post that reply herself?

Do I wear then back to front or nose to gusset?

Guest *Granny Rustgirdle* replies... "Oh Young Maannn!, nose to gusset, gusset to nose"

Maybe it's time to create a few totally rediculous characters, give them genuine avatars etc, yet circulate the passwords around the bollocksicians and admins etc so anyone can log in and comment under any character - so long as they (try) to stay in character...

Guest *Granny Rustgirdle* forgot to add..... "my luvverly old flappy gusset is generous enough to cover the whole face! Breath in the fumes deep my petal - BREATH!"

[jahloon]

Maybe it's time to create a few totally rediculous characters, give them genuine avatars etc, yet circulate the passwords around the bollocksicians and admins etc so anyone can log in and comment under any character - so long as they (try) to stay in character...

How absolutely super!

Post your suggestions here and we will vet applicants appropriately

[jahloon]

Perhaps we should suggest some rules:

The owner of the Phantom can pass the user/password to others, all e-mail addresses will return to admin, Phantoms that are corrosively offensive might be rewarded or deleted, Phantoms fuelling feuds will be withered and outed, all Phantoms will have the membership status "Phantom" to distance them from reality.

Possibles:

Granny Rustgirdle - An old lady with slipped moral values, who thinks facebook is an indecent sexual act

Old Hack - Ageing ex-reporter filing outrageous bogus news reports (we've seen him before)

President G Rosenburger III - Neo right wing anit-tree hugger

[gazmungus]

Perhaps we should suggest some rules:

The owner of the Phantom can pass the user/password to others, all e-mail addresses will return to admin, Phantoms that are corrosively offensive might be rewarded or deleted, Phantoms fuelling feuds will be withered and outed, all Phantoms will have the membership status "Phantom" to distance them from reality.

Possibles:

Granny Rustgirdle - An old lady with slipped moral values, who thinks facebook is an indecent sexual act

Old Hack - Ageing ex-reporter filing outrageous bogus news reports (we've seen him before)

President G Rosenburger III - Neo right wing anit-tree hugger

Weeeeelll....


We need a completely fearless and emotionless pedant, how about and official Guest guest modelled on a semi-retired paperclip inspector for the royal mail (Blakey avatar?)....


and the phantoms would need spiritual guidance for all things er, spiritual, and a moral leader for all that's (i)moral? Padre Stinkfinger the Unwise.....?


And an habitually undieting fat woman with denial issues - y'know, the kind that shows up for xfactor auditions and thinks she's curvatious and big and beautiful when in fact she's a talentless scoffing great pig Melinda Meat Wave...? Someone to get upset when we start picking on chunkies...

More later!

[rob]

Tweet tweet.

Are you drunk yet?

How long 'till you really know?

[gazmungus]

Tweet tweet.

Are you drunk yet?

How long 'till you really know?

Yes I'm back to normality (?)

It's 50/50, it'll be close if I did pass, I found myself shaking a bit too much and I was still reading most of the pieces - it was too early to take it, but I'd have to wait another 6 months, which is frankly too long. We'll see.

I have to pat myself on the back though - my playing has grown unbelievably in the last year and I've learned 12 new pieces, my sight reading has really improved. I'd planned to take a few days away from the guitar to recouperate after the 8-10 hour days, but what do I find myself wanting to do this morning


I get the result in 2 months. Cock.