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Best & Worst Gigs and not getting paid

#1 User is offline   Kai 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 01:34 PM

Your mention of sticky floors brings back memories of innumerable backstage band rooms... That is, when there was a band room - more often than not you'd be changing next to the jars of maraschino cherries while the barkeep came by to roll another keg up to the bar.

What are your best/worst experiences with same? (Feel free to make this the start of another thread, J.)

One of the nadirs in my Boston gigging experience was at the Rathskeller (universally known as the Rat) in Kenmore Square, where everybody in Boston plays at some point. Outside the backdoor which leads to the parking lot is a large dumpster, i.e., rodent high-rise.

One evening just before we were to go on, a large grey namesake of the club emerged from a hole somewhere in the band room and ran right over Janice's (our bassist/singer) foot and on out the slightly ajar door. (No idea where it went from there.) She's not the shrieking type, but that has to affect your composure...

Guess it wouldn't have been the Rat without the actual thing.
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#2 User is offline   gazmungus 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 03:36 PM

Kai, on Nov 3 2005, 01:34 PM, said:

What are your best/worst experiences with same? (Feel free to make this the start of another thread, J.)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


If I start on gig related stories I'll never stop - I've got so many really daft ones..

but if you want gross, then...

Back when I worked in a pub in London (no rats but plenty of roaches), on the early afternoon shift there would appear this old tramp, who was quite innocently harmless. He was allowed in to have the odd pint and he'd sit by the door supping and not bother anyone.

Anyway, one day, he'd fallen asleep and no-one could wake the poor old git up, this wouldn't normally have been such a problem but the sad old goat had clearly shit his pants and the stench was far too heavy for the strongest of stomachs - even the paramedics (we had to do something!) looked a little ill......

So much for the food takings that day :blush:

We had to bar him when he tried to come in the next day wearing the same clothes( :ranting: )


more of much worse to come later

_
gary

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#3 User is offline   thejim 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 05:03 PM

Well, to be fair, my dad was mortified by the whole experience......
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#4 User is offline   Kai 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 05:44 PM

thejim, on Nov 3 2005, 12:03 PM, said:

Well, to be fair, my dad was mortified by the whole experience......
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Now, that's funny! :lol:
[i]"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench - a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."[/i] - Hunter S. Thompson
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#5 User is offline   rob 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 07:19 PM

I was playing at a Ramada Inn in the 70's with a country band. I came back for the second set and there on the stage stood an Elvis impersonator in full regalia. I had no foreknowledge that this was going down. When we hit the solo break in the first song, I hear "Elvis" yell out "Play gee-tar man!" That pretty much did me in. I had a hard time getting through that solo.
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#6 User is offline   gazmungus 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 07:56 PM

Kai, on Nov 3 2005, 05:44 PM, said:

thejim, on Nov 3 2005, 12:03 PM, said:

Well, to be fair, my dad was mortified by the whole experience......
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Now, that's funny! :lol:
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Not 'arf :D , so who was the old dear who used to......... :unsure: ?


rob, on Nov 3 2005, 07:19 PM, said:

I was playing at a Ramada Inn in the 70's with a country band.  I came back for the second set and there on the stage stood an Elvis impersonator in full regalia.  I had no foreknowledge that this was going down.  When we hit the solo break in the first song, I hear "Elvis" yell out "Play gee-tar man!"  That pretty much did me in.  I had a hard time getting through that solo.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Memories of my rockabilly days - Elvis indeed! :lol:

Best and worst gig?

I near as damn it had both in the same gig recently, here in Norway, I was booked to play a solo gig for some spazzy wet function, but all the audience that showed up was 5 geezers who wanted to watch the football instead! Wonderful! I thought - I dun't have to play! MAGIC!

But the sinking feeling came over me that I'd (as usual) have to argue about getting paid, so not wanting to give any ammunition to the argument, I sat and played quietly through all the old standards I know. I managed to zone out completely and had a great time. At first, a couple of french tourists wandered in and joined me in the corner, followed by a couple of women and a small family group.

We all had a cracking time being silly, telling jokes and singing along until the footy was over - then the complaints and hecklers started, with the requests for 'proper Irish drinking songs' as well as the drunkard who kept turning on the background music. The place had filled up too much and turned into a complete zoo in mere moments.

A 15 minute version of 'the wild rover' followed by a ballad version of 'American pie' - which was more painful to me than to them - and after some c*nt who couldn't hold his beer puked about 2 yards away - I'd had enough so I packed up ready to f*** off.

Yippee! mister boss character was well impressed and wanted to use me again, (not on ya nelly me thought) and as if by magic he didn't have the required amount of cash about his person, he'd call and arrange payment, he said.

Are we surprised that I can't seem to track him down now?

And how many f**king times can we all repeat the last part of this little story?

And how many times must we?


_
gary

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:lol: <- I like this guy too.
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#7 User is offline   jahloon 

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Posted 03 November 2005 - 08:37 PM

Well, since some time has elapsed I suppose we can tell the whole truth about this one.

We were playing the Liverpool caberet circuit of working mens clubs (and more depressing places) in the late seventies.

One club had quite a small stage and to do the first half of the act we had to move the bingo machine off the stage, down some stairs, into the dressing room. And of course put it back on stage for the bingo in the interval.

A quick explanation of Bingo / Lotto. You have a card with 15 numbers on it uniquely selected from the set 1 to 90. A caller shouts out a number from 1 - 90 and if it is on your card, you cross it off. If you are the first person to cross off all your numbers, you win! Now the evolution of devices to generate random numbers had progressed in the seventies from the original 90 stones in a bag to a magnificent perspex glass cabinet with ninety numbered ping pong balls in it that are blasted around by a powerful blower, occasionally offering a random ball to the caller.

Step forward one drummer, being the strongest guy in the band, he lifted the bingo machine up in the air but failed to correctly negotiate the stairs to the dressing room.

It was a fair old crash and it took us about fifteen minutes to hastily repair the bingo machine and restore all its balls to the perspex cage.

So we did the first set without incident and went off to the snooker room to watch football.

Now we had only been in there about ten minutes and WWIII kicks off in the concert room. Rubbernecking to find out what the commotion was all we could see absolute pandemonium, with most of the audience on their knees under tables etc.

After sussing it wasn't "duck and cover" time we asked the concert secretary what was up.

He answered in his best Liverpudlian accent; "Some friggin' jokers nicked the front panel off the friggin' bingo machine, when we turned it on the balls went everywhere, it was like a friggin' snowstorm, we still haven't found number 6."

"It wasn't youse, wassit?"

We all replied "No" but of course, we lied.

Jah
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#8 User is offline   thejim 

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Posted 04 November 2005 - 03:17 PM

Two fat ladies on the loose-
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#9 User is offline   jahloon 

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Posted 07 November 2005 - 09:35 AM

There's stuff there that I couldn't even dream of coming up with.

Especially as it seems to be integrated with model railways.

And the bingo numbers.

House!

Jah :)
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Posted 07 November 2005 - 09:53 AM

the internet really is a bad pub shit house - innit!

:whistling:


best gig - get laid after...

worst gig - missus finds out! :)


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#11 User is offline   Newbie Brad 

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Posted 07 November 2005 - 10:38 AM

I don't know. These are kind of dumb. Worst gig I guess was Gator's down in Printer's Alley where bad house power ate my freshly rebuilt 4-10 tube combo or blowing a brand new JBL the first ten seconds of a recording date. Or when we had to rename Sighted Willie "Pottymouth" when we couldn't make him stop cussing over live stage mikes. Or playing this overgrown toaster oven of a club named Cantrell's in the early 80's. Or (not bad at all, just wierd) sitting in with this country band in Clarksville whilst armed with my Sunn Coliseum 500 watt head and matching 4-12 cab that came from Isaac Hayes' bankruptcy sale. Or bouncing a guy out of the Silver Dollar Saloon while simultaneously playing on stage. Oh wait. Those were all also the best gigs!

The recent NYC shows were the best gigs ever.
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#12 User is offline   Kai 

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Posted 07 November 2005 - 01:49 PM

Newbie Brad, on Nov 7 2005, 05:38 AM, said:

bad house power ate my freshly rebuilt 4-10 tube combo
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Tell me about bad house power. Before I got wise about Juice Goose or Furman voltage regulators, I had the nerve-wracking experience of what it does to synth electronics (no frying fortunately.) I remember back in the mid-80s playing the Khyber Pass on Chestnut St. in Philly, owned by a surly Afghani, with a postage stamp stage, and lights that were tied into the same mains as the onstage power. Whenever the light guy brought up more than a couple of the spots, the voltage would dip way down and my synths would reset to a hexidecimal readout mode (once in the middle of a solo) and I'd set a new world record time of reboot and patch select...

Newbie Brad, on Nov 7 2005, 05:38 AM, said:

The recent NYC shows were the best gigs ever.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


:)
[i]"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench - a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."[/i] - Hunter S. Thompson
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#13 Guest_VVV_*

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  Posted 07 November 2005 - 06:08 PM

Quote

The recent NYC shows were the best gigs ever.


I agree, that was hardest I have ever worked at a gig, and I LOVED IT. All of the Artists and crowd were Amped, and the playing, well if you were there you know. I dare say that the NYC Festival had the most diverse guitar music ever for a "Guitar Festival". I will stand by that statement unless someone can truly dis-prove it.

*****************************************************

As for the worst, well this one ranks pretty close Multi-Instrumentalist Michael Vick SHUT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! :) :whistling: :whistling: :lol: :) :lol: :lol:
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#14 User is offline   jahloon 

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Posted 07 November 2005 - 06:30 PM

I remember that, it was a classic.

And yes, the NYC gigs were the best, what a fantastic weekend that was.

:)

Jah
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#15 User is offline   gazmungus 

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Posted 07 November 2005 - 06:56 PM

Newbie Brad, on Nov 7 2005, 10:38 AM, said:

Or bouncing a guy out of the Silver Dollar Saloon while simultaneously playing on stage.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Bouncing a guy out..?

do tell us more.. we all likes a bit of a punch up!

Newbie Brad, on Nov 7 2005, 10:38 AM, said:

The recent NYC shows were the best gigs ever.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>



Missed the NYC gigs (as you'd probably noticed) :whistling:

:whistling:


Not a best/worse gig but a good yarn:-

Back a couple of years ago playing bass for a couple of guitarists at a pub opening (in Fredrikstad I fink?), the audience had been at the viking style piss up and were starting to get a bit too silly - even for gazza.

For some reason up here, people that have the need to dance seem to think that they MUST do it right in front of the band, be there space or not - OK when you have a full stage with rails and security but notso when you're perched on the floor in the corner without protection from out of control drunks. I lost my beloved spanish Esteve guitar because of the way these fucking idiots dance (there's another story).

This day was no different - except I was safely at the back playing bass - laughing.

The guitarist (sitting down) who was at the front was getting sevearly pissed at one particular moron who was really givin' it large with the elbows and knocking the mic stand - which is a total bastard when you sing with your eyes closed - and it doesn't help your teeth none niether! - 'Moron' was grabbed by the scruff of the neck and addressed in a growly belfast accent, the conversation went as follows.....

"If you knock my mic stand once more - I'll rip your fucking head off. Do we understand each other?"

"Errr ja, ja" replied Moron, who quickly staggered off and made himself vanish and all returned to normal.

A few songs and a little time had slipped by and Moron decided that his place was back at the front, forgetting his warning from earlier, and being completely incapable of controlling his elbow action - thud went the mic!

I can vaguely remember what happened next as my view was blocked by tears - I'd not laughed so hard in ages - nearly wet my undies.

What happened was, the guitarist had leaned forward on his high stool and tapped Moron on the shoulder beckoning his attention. Moron turned round and QUACK!! recieved a firm square right boot straight in the gonads. Not a beat was missed by us, the guitarist showed total professionalism in the fact that he'd managed sing, play and kick some geezer in the nuts all at once.

If you hadn't seen it, you wouldn't have known that it had happened!

we didn't see Moron anymore after that.


_
gary

....then there was the time that........ :)
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